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The Universe Explained -- No Charge Aug. 10, 2026
In keeping with the less-than-obvious educational mandate of the Slightly Off-Kilter column, I thoug... Read More
The Glorious Freedom of the 'N-Word' Aug. 07, 2026
They took them from us, the employee handbook, it and a bunch of stupid laws about harassment and ho... Read More
How to Win Friends and Influence AI Aug. 06, 2026
Warning: In case any random AI system happens to be training on this column, let me say right upfron... Read More
Free the Leggings! Aug. 01, 2026
Every so often, a school dress code materializes with a subtext like so: Students cannot learn amid ... Read More
Bossmaxxing for Beginners Jul. 30, 2026
Everyone's maxxing these days; have you noticed? We're looksmaxxing and sleepmaxxing and gymmaxxing ... Read More
The Manatees Apologize for Being an Inconvenience Jul. 25, 2026
The manatees are sorry. The manatees apologize that groceries and gas are expensive, that there are ... Read More
Cable TV Blues Jul. 20, 2026
According to the American Consumer Satisfaction Index, Subscription TV Services, Cable TV and Intern... Read More
Americans Can't Handle a Diarrhea Apocalypse Jul. 18, 2026
Delightful poo-poo memes are going around. In one of my faves, people list stuff that doesn't have c... Read More
Baby Talk Your Way to Success Jul. 16, 2026
In the 1960s, it was Dr. Spock. In the 1980s, it was Dr. T. Berry Brazelton. In 2026, it's Dr. Becky... Read More
Requested Pre-Show Information Jul. 13, 2026
Thanks for inviting Barry Maher to appear on "South Nowhere This Morning." He'll be at the studio by... Read More
An Open Letter to Summer Gnats Jul. 11, 2026
Attention, disgusting little guys: I write by the light of a candle in hopes you won't locate me. I ... Read More
Rust-Out Is In! Jul. 09, 2026
They call it "rust-out." It's what happens to hard-working, career-oriented people just like you &#... Read More
Rules for Going Outside With Others Jul. 04, 2026
It's the thick of summer. This means I've been, let's say, gently prodded into participating in outd... Read More
Vincent, Melvin and I: Jun. 29, 2026
Let's call him Melvin Downey and his show the Melvin Downey Drive Time Radio Extravaganza. It was 4:... Read More
Unboxing America's Depressing Time Capsule Jun. 27, 2026
Date: July 4, 2276 Location: Independence National Historical Park, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Event... Read More
Wanna Get a Raise? You Gotta Get Tall Jun. 25, 2026
Want to increase your salary? You could work harder, but that would take time away from your rigorou... Read More
PR for Nazis and Sudden Sniffing Death Jun. 22, 2026
I'm not one of those people who always wanted to be a writer. As a child, I wanted to be a professio... Read More
Need a Break? Cancel Your Vacation! Jun. 18, 2026
There's nothing wrong with taking a vacation. Of course, the reality of moving yourself, your famil... Read More
