Many details come into play when planning a wedding, and getting the wedding guest RSVPs back is among the most important. Knowing how many people you can expect for the big day is crucial to ensuring many other details go off without a hitch, from the table and chair orders to the dinner orders to the bar stock. Yet getting the responses back promptly and tracking them can be a frustrating process. Follow these tips to increase your RSVP response rate and have the invitations work with your timeline and budget.
In today's day and age, when email is preferred to snail mail, going the online route is usually your best bet for prompt, timely responses. "The best way to get an RSVP is to send out evites or e-save the dates," said Ryan MacKenzie, founder of Love Always Planning and Design. "For my couples that send out RSVP cards, they probably only get 25% mailed back to them and it's only usually by older guests. Everybody else is sending a text. Millennials don't really use the mail system anymore." She advises her clients to get a good estimate of guest head count about three months before their wedding.
Going the digital route will also save a ton of money on invites. MacKenzie estimates that the average wedding couple sends about 180 invitations at roughly $1.50 a card. On top of that, they have to pay postage for not just the invites but the RSVPs. That's at least a few hundred dollars. "(Y)ou're going to waste your money and there are way better ways to do it these days," she says.
There's also no need for all or nothing. One compromise is to head to a website like Minted, a "marketplace of independent artists," and buy a couple dozen print invitations to send to people who will appreciate them; then send the rest online via a wedding website. Crafting a personal wedding website offers additional benefits: Link to your guest registry. Give your guests more details about the ceremony, like dress code and parking at the venue. And offer people traveling from out of town hotel options and ideas for other activities they can do.
MacKenzie underscores how important guest head count is for meal planning and says it is customary to give caterers a final head count 30 days before the wedding. If your count is off, even by just five people, it can cost the couple big time. "The last wedding that I did five guests RSVP'd and then they didn't actually come," MacKenzie said. "The couple spent $1,200 on their dinners that they weren't there for." For this reason, it's better to underestimate than overestimate attendance. "The nice thing is that you can usually always add a dinner but you can't ever really take them away once you have your final head count," she said. "Almost every wedding (I've done), I am calling the coordinator within a couple days of the wedding to let them know, 'Can you please add two more guest meals? Here's the updated seating chart,' because every time you add guests or take away guests you also have to change your seating chart, especially if it's assigned seating." The earlier your RSVPs are accounted for, the less wiggle room you'll have for surprises.
Specificity is one way to ensure wedding guests RSVP. Nina Callaway of The Spruce recommends that you give guests a date by which they must RSVP and request they respond either way. Some guests believe they only need to reply if they're going to attend, or if they read, "RSVP by May 6," they may not know what's needed. "Make the reply date prominent on the response card," she writes. "For a formal invitation, use 'The favor of a reply is requested by May 6' For an informal invitation, you can say, 'Please reply by May 6' or 'Kindly respond by May 6.'"
For destination weddings, the rules are slightly different. "Send a save-the-date about nine months earlier, allowing people to start clearing vacation time from work and looking for travel deals," Callaway writes. This is especially important if you're paying for guests' hotel and/or airfare and you need to get their travel information. Send the actual invitations about four and a half months ahead, and ask for a response two months ahead. "That allows guests to look for travel deals during the window that experts say is best -- two to four months before a trip," she says. Lastly, you'll have a better chance of getting people to RSVP if you make your reply cards interesting. Use a funny one or a beautifully decorated so it stands out in the envelope.
For the RSVP stragglers, MacKenzie says there's no harm in picking up the phone and calling them. Tell them you're excited and you would love for them to join but to please let you know as soon as possible whether they can make it. Hopefully, they'll appreciate the personal touch and be courteous in return.
In the end, it may be next to impossible to avoid dawdlers. But being clear, precise and proactive with your invitations will increase your chances of having a complete guest list tenfold -- and be one step toward less work and a more stress-free wedding.
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