Whether you're a bride choosing a maid of honor or someone who's been asked to serve as maid of honor, there's a lot to know about this special role.

"Maid of honor duties range from, 'I just want them to hang out with me all day and be there for me' to 'this person is responsible for setting up my entire wedding decor and making things run smoothly,'" says Jesse Reing, founder of Events by Jesse, a wedding planning service in New York.

Reing has found there are regional differences in maid of honor (MOH) duties. For example, in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, the MOH will plan the bachelorette party, help the bride select a dress, and help her get ready on the big day. Her main role is as the bride's best friend.

But in other areas of the country, including the Midwest, "they put a lot of responsibility on the maid of honor in terms of planning and running the show," she says. "They may feel like they have the maid of honor at their disposal for any work on the wedding day."

*Responsibilities

Etiquette consultant Jodi RR Smith of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting says traditionally attendant responsibilities include assisting with pre-wedding activities, hosting a bridal shower, helping the bride dress and prepare on the day of the wedding, adjusting the bride's train and veil and holding her bouquet during the ceremony. The MOH is a witness to the wedding and signs the marriage license.

Other duties include ensuring the reception is running smoothly, possibly standing in a receiving line, encouraging guests to dance, and toasting the couple.

The role may also include holding the bride's phone throughout the wedding day, ensuring the bride drinks water and eats enough, and potentially escorting the bride to the restroom and helping her with her dress. A MOH may be expected to collect gifts and cards brought to the reception and store them for safekeeping, as well as distribute tip envelopes to vendors.

"The maid of honor serves as the bride's support system before, during and after the wedding planning process," says Lauren Wallis, marketing manager with Mike Staff Productions, a wedding production company based in metro Detroit. "Think of yourself as part event planner, part therapist and part organizer."

Since wedding planning and the big day can be stressful for the bride, the MOH is most importantly tasked with keeping the bride calm and focused on what happens next.

*Cost

Serving as MOH is not cheap. Reing says a MOH should expect to spend between $1,000 and $1,500, including expenses like bachelorette party flights and night out planning, as well as buying a bridesmaid dress of the bride's choosing and giving a wedding gift, too. Beware of extra expenses, too, such as professional hair and makeup.

"It is so easy to be swept up in the romance and excitement, especially when speaking about costs can be so complicated and challenging," says Smith. "There needs to be a very frank and serious conversation around the costs."

She cautions brides, "you simply cannot expect someone to go into debt to be in your wedding."

*Understanding Expectations

Each bride may have her own idea of what's expected of a MOH. Those expectations often are seen in your friend group.

"Unless you're the first person getting married in your friend group, you probably have a good idea of what the responsibility looks like," says Reing.

The best way to figure out your duties is to ask the bride what she anticipates the MOH's duties to include. That way you'll both be in the know and as MOH, you'll be able to accept the position with clear expectations.