Regrets: We’ve Had A Few

By Chelle Cordero

December 6, 2019 5 min read

Some dreams become realities, and some don't. We all try to live our lives without regrets, but oftentimes other obligations get in the way of our goals. Regret is seemingly inevitable. In fact, a 2014 study from the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, the National Council on Aging, United Healthcare and USA Today, found that only 17% of senior adults were regret-free. What are some of the most common regrets among seniors?

Joyce wishes that she and husband, Andy, had traveled more in the early years of their marriage. Now, in their retirement years, she says their health doesn't allow them the freedom to see faraway places they always dreamed of going to. Her advice: "Do it when you're young and have the stamina. If it's a matter of cash, it's easier to forego some of the comforts when you are young."

Malcolm had a full list of special things to do with his wife, Sandy. They were thrilled to see their children finish school and begin their own lives when he retired. A few years before his retirement, Sandy died suddenly of a heart attack. A couple of years later, Malcolm was fortunate enough to meet another woman he enjoyed being with. While he never forgot Sandy, he was determined not to make the same mistake, and he retired a year early. His advice: "Don't wait for tomorrow; it may not happen. Carpe Diem. Take today and run with it."

David and Maggie remembered a trip they took to Atlantic City, New Jersey -- just before the casinos were built -- to see the old boardwalk one last time as it was during Maggie's childhood. While they were down there, they saw a few rundown properties that were for sale well below the market value and joked about buying one of them and selling it to one of the casinos planning to move in. It would be tight, but they thought they could afford it. Then they started to worry about the risk. They returned a few years later to see the revitalization of the area and hear all the stories about land deals and development. The property they had considered was bought by someone else and sold for 10 times the amount. Their advice: "Be willing to take a chance, especially when you are young and don't have the responsibility of young children. Check things out thoroughly, but don't be scared to take a risk; it could pay off big time."

Jonathan and his brother Sam had a huge argument early in both their married lives, and they never spoke again. They missed out on each other's company, watching their families grow and being there for each other when their parents passed. Sam wasn't well for several years; Jonathan never knew about it. When Sam succumbed to his illness, his widow called her brother-in-law. Jonathan came to the funeral and afterward to the house, where he met his niece and nephew for the first time. His advice: "Don't hang on to your grudges. The sad thing is I remember we were angry at each other, but I don't remember what the argument was about. And now my brother is gone. I'll never get the chance to speak to him again."

What were some of the other regrets folks had as they reached their senior years?

-- Say "I love you" every day. Don't put off telling your loved ones how you feel about them.

-- Staying in a job you hate will only make you miserable and leave you feeling unfulfilled. And don't be afraid to apply for a better job and or go after a promotion. Believe in yourself.

-- Be sure to spend time with your children when they are young. Before you know it, they'll be grown and off on their own.

-- Work to live; don't live to work. Remember your priorities are at home. Don't miss out on family time.

-- Take care of yourself when you're young. With today's medicines and advancements, it is almost a sure thing that you're going to live longer, so why not live healthier?

-- Spend time with your parents while they are still here.

-- Don't go through life without ever standing up for someone in need. Be proud of who you are.

-- Life only happens once. Be sure to make the most of it!

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