You are planning the happiest day of your life -- but your invitation list is complicated. What are the rules for inviting divorced couples, or singles? What is worse, how do you NOT offend someone you might be close with? And most importantly, how do you guarantee that "divorce drama" will not ruin your special day?

It may be easy to just invite the person you are close to, especially if you only know the ex-spouse through your friend. But what happens if you and your betrothed are friendly with both parties? Do you still invite one and not the other? Worse yet, what if the famous divorced couple is one of the sets of parents of the wedding couple? What could possibly go wrong?

*Plus-ones

First, let us review some of the standard rules about invitations. Unless you are having a small affair, inviting adults with plus-ones in common. This automatically includes any couple that is married, engaged, partnered, living together or otherwise in a long-term relationship. These couples are both invited on the invitation. If you have a single friend, then the invite should be addressed with a plus-one.

Whether they bring a plus-one or not, adults should not be at "singles' tables." Again, it depends on your budget as to whether you include plus-ones for young adults (aka "older" teens) who have steady sweethearts; if a teen does not have a partner, there is no reason to include a plus-one.

*Friends

If you are in a situation where both members of the separated couple are friends (for instance, you introduced your best friend to your betrothed's best friend), then you will want to include both members. It would be a promising idea ahead of time to speak with each one of the couple and let them know you are planning to invite their ex; in a VERY tactful way, find out if your friend will "behave." If they are not going to get along, for your sake, then consider not inviting both; if you must decide between one or the other, then, of course, the person who means the most to you (sibling?) or the person who promises to behave should be the one included.

However, when planning her own wedding, Ellen said, "I would invite them both. Their petty squabbles are not my concern. If they can't act like adults, they'd better decline the invitation or leave early." Plan to seat them at separate tables and, as above, it would be customary to let them bring a plus-one -- unless the separation is raw, and you know that the potential plus-one was the reason for their breakup. Feel free to have an honest discussion with the potential invitees.

*Parents

Even though you are looking forward to a lifetime of happiness, your parents might not have remained married, they may have divorced or legally separated. You are dealing with your parents, stepparents or partner; making decisions about having them in the same room seems just a bit scary, especially if there is animosity between them. It is only natural that you want both of your folks there, sometimes even if you might be estranged from one. Again, unless it is a small affair, it's proper to include your stepparents as well (or plus-one).

Speak to your parents about having them both at the wedding and ask if they prefer to be seated together or separately. If they have gotten along amicably for your sake, they might not mind sitting together. If your parents have contributed to the wedding, they might have provided a list of invitees; if both sets are not sitting together, you can give each couple their own table with their friends. Try to include each parent equally in the ceremony, especially if you have a nice relationship with both mother and father. So long as you get along with one or both stepparents, you might want to give them special honors as well.

When it comes to final decisions, this is YOUR wedding, and you do not need, or want, any unnecessary drama. Use your discretion. The only opinions that truly matter are yours and your soon-to-be spouse. Your memories of this special day should always be ones of happiness and joy.